I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
