sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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