You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
