Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
this boner is exhausting
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
