she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
