the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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