I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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