Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
