well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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