Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
