she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
