i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
