How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
