I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
