I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
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