so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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