So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
