It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
