After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Alive.
So much puke
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
