is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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