idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
