I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
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I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
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I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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