please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
