We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
