Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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