it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Randomize
