oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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