We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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