Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The uberlube is also flammable
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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