Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
