What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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