i wish starbucks made bloody marys
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I am naked and annoyed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
