i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
