Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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