My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
