im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Randomize
