just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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