So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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