im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize