What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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