he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
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THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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