I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
