I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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