I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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