SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Its about making memories worth repressing
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
