Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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