so explain again why im purple
no
I can text with my tongue
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Let's get the cat blown out
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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