What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
