we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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