I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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