I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
