somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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