Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
