i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
