we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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