So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
