Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
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