its not stalking. its research.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
