He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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