sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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