So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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