It's Friday. Sex?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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